Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
What a dumb baby whore.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
