Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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