You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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