Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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