So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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