By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it glows. i had to have it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
