i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You dont lie about slip and slides
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
