he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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