Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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