What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
