"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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