OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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