how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
