I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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