No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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