some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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