I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
