if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
