My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
