Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
