finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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