You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
