let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
im calling her cock vulture from now on
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
