I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
