If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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