i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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