dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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