Farmville is her only friend.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
