i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize