i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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