I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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