Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
