It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
