did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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