it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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