There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
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