goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
