my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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