i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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