all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
