Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
