he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
