she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
