I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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