I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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