Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
