You just made me feel so damn special
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
