Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
