I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
