Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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