well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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