I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
