So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
