Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
