I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
