you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
