He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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