But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
