My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Come on in and take your pants off
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