You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
