i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
