How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
