Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
