it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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